>Be Jasper at that exact moment.
“Momma! Momma, momma, momma!” A laugh escapes you and you pick up the three revolution old, laughing at her antics. She squeals, kicking and laughing when you pick her up. Every weekend, you find yourself missing the girls, and having to take them to Rose’s so you could lay your youngest ling just made you miss them more, but you know they’ll always be back. They love you more- you like to think so anyways- and you carried them, so the government wouldn’t dare take custody without reason, and Rose doesn’t seem too willing to put them through the horrors of a trial to get them back.
“Did you miss momma, Charoite?” She nods, and hugs your neck tightly. You grin, feeling a tug at your pants and looking down to see Rhodochrosite, holding her favourite plushie. The one that’s modelled after the old Earth animal known as a tiger, though it’s pink with purple stripes instead of orange and black. Her pastel pink pacifier bobs in and out as she sucks on it, so you laugh and pick her up as well. Still so small, and only a revolution and a half.
“Momma,” Rhodo mumbles around the pacifier, and you note that you should try breaking her of it at some point, but you’re still rather exhausted, and you’re not too worried about it at the moment.
“Hello, Jasper,” your ex-bond says as she stands in your doorway. You glare slightly at her, noting the way her arms curl around her stomach. “How are you doing?”
“I’m doing fine. Thanks, Rose, for watching the kids,” you say simply, and she nods slowly, looking over the two of them.
“It was my pleasure. I love seeing my girls…” she trails off, and you know what she’s going to ask before she starts to say anything, and your jaw locks up slightly. “Can I see her?”
“Why? She’s still just a geode, and she’s not going anywhere.” She looks offended, and Rhodochrosite grips tighter onto you when she senses your anger.
“I know she’s still a geode, but she’ mine too, Jasper. I just want to see her at least once before she hatches,” she says, before she pauses, biting her bottom lip. You look away, because you still can’t stand to see her upset. “Are you even going to let me know her once she does?”
“Rose…”
“Jasper, please. I still love you, and the kids, but this wasn’t working out anymore, and you know it. You don’t have to let me see her, ever, but I’m begging you, please let me see her while she’s like this, just once. Please.” Sadness carries heavily in her voice, and you blink back tears. Everything she says is true, and you still love her too, but the fighting was getting to be too much, and the kids don’t need to see that.
“I… It’s not right, to keep you away from her, is it?” You look at her, and she shakes her head slowly. You bite your lip for a moment before you sigh. “Come on then. You can see Tiger’s Eye, and… Maybe I’ll let you see the girls more often… Just…”
“Tiger’s Eye then?”
“Mhm… That’s what I thought would be best. She doesn’t have as many stripes as Rhodo did, just one actually.” She nods, and follows you as you lead her to the nursery. “How’s Greg?”
“Doing good… Doing good… I have something to tell you, Jasper.” You don’t stop, because you’re scared of what she’s going to say. You don’t want to hear anything about the two of them, and only asked because it was the nice thing to say, not because you actually cared about him. You hate him.
“What?” you ask, and the Rhodo tugs at your hair, pointing down. You set her down as Rose clears her throat, and your ling toddles over to her, raising her arms up before your ex-bond picks her up. Charoite giggles, resting her head on your shoulder.
“Do you remember the last time I went into heat?” she starts, and you furrow your brows in confusion, because what sense does that make and why bring that up with the kids present? You glance at her, and she holds your ling so delicately and warmly, and you adore the sight, and hate yourself for adoring it.
“What about it?” She hesitates, and you remember the way her arms were wrapped around her stomach. You suddenly feel sick, just as Charoite pats your cheek.
“Momma? I play?” You turn to Rose, fear in your eyes, because no, that can’t be. It was only about a fourth of a revolution ago, and you can’t stand to think of her carrying your lings when you’re not even together.
“Yes Charoite… Rose, no, you can’t mean…”
“I’m sorry, Jasper. I went and had myself checked out to be sure, and… I…” Your world spins, and you set Charoite down. She runs out of the room giggling, and you put a hand to your head.
“Do you want me to take it?” you ask gently, and she looks away, tears in her eyes again.
“Jasper, you already have Tiger’s Eye, Rhodo, and Charoite, I can’t imagine asking you to-”
“Rose. Please don’t say that. Just let me take it, alright? You can see it, just like the other girls, but you have other things to worry about, and I’m fine with taking in another one. It’s mine too.” She falls silent and you start leading her to the nursery again, watching her follow behind. Silence still follows you until the three of you reach the nursery, with you waving her to look inside. She looks at the incubator, staring at the orange egg inside with a pink stripe across it’s surface.
“She looks perfect, Jasper,” she whispers, and you nod, rubbing the back of your neck.
“Are you going to be okay?” you ask quietly, and she nods weakly. Rhodo makes grabby hands at you, so you take her again, watching her grip her toy tighter.
“Yeah… I’ll… I can’t promise anything right now, but… I’ll think about it.”
“Alright. Feel free to come by anytime, Rose.” She leans forward, kissing your little girl’s forehead and wrapping one arm around her in a gentle hug before she pulls back.
“Charoite! Come give mommy a hug before she leaves!” she calls, and the little one appears in record time, holding up her arms. She picks her up and kisses her forehead as well, tears in her eyes when she sets her down. Without another word, you lead her to the door, and wave her out. You still love her, and it hurts to know she’s hurting so much and carrying for the first time, without you there.