Spoilers for Sworn to the Sword under the cut!
Sitting now, she couldn’t believe it. She had called Steven Rose, to his face, and with Connie right there. The lessons had been going so good too, and now… A shudder rippled through her and she hugged herself close, tears starting to streak her cheeks. She had gotten overwhelmed, thinking of her, and she just couldn’t keep it together, could she?
She remembered the woman she had loved, and the wonderful smile she loved so much. Rose had such a wonderful, lovely, perfect smile, and Steven still carried it. He kept her smile, her eyes, her gem. She couldn’t help but see her when she looked at him, and she hated herself for it. He was so much more than Rose, he was his own person, but she still lingered in his presence.
She choked on a sob, letting their memories flash through her head. From the first moment she had met Rose, her eyes freshly opened for the first time, to the first time she had held Steven, to just moments ago, teaching Steven the basics of sword fighting. It all felt so wrong to look at him and think of her, because he wasn’t, and she would have done anything to protect him.
Didn’t the same stand for what she would have done for Rose though? She loved him, so much, and had loved Rose too, but it was a different type of love. Her love for Steven was completely platonic, and he was hers. Her little boy, even if he was Rose’s. She had raised him, while Rose couldn’t, and she had promised to do so, but had never promised to love him.
But she did. She loved him with all of her heart, and he was her world. She would have gave anything to keep him safe. So what if she would have done the same for Rose? There was a different reason for her protection, because he needed her and she was prepared to do anything for him.
Part of her argued that she only did it because of Rose, and tears streamed down her cheeks that much faster. It was still so hard to think of her without the pain, and how everything she had done had been for her. She drew in a sharp breath as she heard her door open, and glanced up in time to see her little boy peek his head in.
“Pearl?” he asked softly, and she sniffled, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.
“St-Steven… What are you doing here?” He looked uneasy, stepping slowly into the room sheepishly.
“I was uh… Garnet let me in come and check on you cause I was worried about you, and…” he trailed off, and she sniffled, patting the spot on the waterfall next to her so he could sit. Steven walked over slowly, almost seeming scared falling through the water. She watched him approach before he sat down beside her, barely noting the fact the tears were still streaking her cheeks despite her best efforts to stop them. “Are… Are you okay?”
“Why do you ask?” she asked him after a moment, wiping her cheeks to try and hide her tears. It was too late though, and Steven wrapped his arms around her tight. “St-Steven, what are you doing?”
“You’re crying again, so I’m giving you a hug,” he mumbled, and she sniffled. He was so sweet and innocent that it hurt.
“Steven, you don’t have to. I mean… You should be out, with Connie, or… Or something,” she mumbled, at a loss for words. He hugged her tighter, and she wrapped one arm around him, enjoying his presence more than she would ever let him know.
“Yes I do. I love you, my Pearl.” Had he really said that? Her mind reeled, and her heart ached, because he sounded just like her, and it hurt so much.
“I’m sorry, wh-what?” she asked after a moment, and he looked at her, almost hurt when she had asked him to repeat himself.
“I said that I love you, Pearl.”
“Oh, sorry, I… I misunderstood.” So he hadn’t. He pulled her that much closer, and she sniffed.
“Pearl… When you called me Rose earlier-”
“I’m sorry, Steven. I’m sorry, it just slipped out. That’s no excuse, but, I’m still sorry.”
“It’s okay. I just want to know that you’re okay.”
“Of course I am. Thank you for coming to check on me. It was very nice of you.”
“No problem, Pearl. I love you.”
“I… I love you too, Steven.”